Today wasn’t like any other day for me.
got home and slept till 7 pm after getting back from school.
It’s one of those days I wish I were home-schooled, all my problems just clashed into one today and my close friend wasn’t even in school to witness this nor support me.
The old feelings start to revive, being compared to her..
and how she’s better than I am in many ways.
Sometimes, it just sucks that she has to be my best friend..
because hearing from other people that she’s the “better” one from the both of us, that she’s prettier, has bigger
boobs, shorter and cute-r, friendlier and sweeter. im human it does hurt.since she’s left our school, this year I’ve been noticed more unlike last year or even all the past years of my life being in school with her. Because it was always about her, no matter how hard I try. She’s a peoples’ person.
and the worst of all is she doesn’t even deserve to get this shit from me.
I sound so insecure, it’s surreal.
She is my best friend, I know her well. I know it hurts more for her, that I could say these words against her, besides all this.. she really is a genuine-hearted person and I know she’ll forgive me for this..
I just had to let it out.
I felt so damn emo in school. I would constantly black out and stare at something, and imagining things like “What if I were dead right now?”, ” Would people even care?” and such. Next thing you know, I’m staring at a girl’s ass and she’s completely freaked out and now thinks I’m a lesbian.
I’ve stopped trying. Trying to get to her level. I know I won’t even come close to that.
But some human beings should really just shut the fuck up.
I don’t want to go back to my suicidal days okay, those days were terrible.
I even made a damn slideshow, saying goodbye to each and every friend of mine.
the fudge..
aight im done.
O.O
Now I’m even more convinced that we should meet, I think like this all the time. My best friend makes me totally insecure too. *Hugs* Don’t worry, mind twin, we’re in this together. :)
:o and I thought I was alone. hell yes. soon, we shall meet up.
too many similarities already.
:]
Feel better meme,
and I’ll arrange a meeting for the both of you soon . :P
